Here’s a question for you...It’s of the true or false variety. (These were my favorite back in school because I knew I had at least a 50% chance of getting the answer right.)
True or false?
We each have a desire for intimate and authentic relationships, but we seldom ever find them?
In a world replete with the social net-workings of My Space, Face-book, Twitter, and text messaging it is interesting that genuine friendships elude us. Maybe, more so than ever before. While surfing these superhighways provide us a superficial connection, they do not allow heartfelt relation that comes only with innermost knowledge of another.
Past generations knew how to “do” community in a way that younger generations may miss in our techie society. As a young girl, I used to go with my grandparents regularly for homemade ice cream after Sunday night services at the home of fellow church members. Now, we barely find time to bring the Blue Bell and get together once a quarter.
We want intimacy in our relationships, but we will never find it on the run (or Face-book)! NOT with each other, and NOT with God. True relationship takes time and opportunity to grow.
What opportunities do you give God to get to know him? What opportunities do you give others to get to know you?
Another hindrance to real connection is all of that rotten fruit hanging from our trees (see the previous post). Pick any “fruit” and notice it contains some sort of relational component. It’s no wonder that when we dont allow God to deal with our “stuff” the first place our issues may surface is in our relationships. Rotten fruit is a repellant to any healthy bond.
It's also no wonder that one of the biggest issues with which women voiced they most commonly struggle is rejection. We were fashioned for relationship. (Genesis 1:27) But, we struggle with the flesh (Matt 26:41). That is why finding and maintaining friendships can be so hard!
I have learned, however, that no one usually gets in my way of a healthy connection more than I do.
In her book, So Long Insecurity, author and speaker, Beth Moore, says the following about insecurity. But, I think you could substitute any stronghold and the message would still hold true.
Insecurity can rob us of some of the richest woman to woman relationships of our lives. It turns potential friends into competitors. It can cause us to pursue associations from unwell or impure motives.
How do you view other women around you? Do you see potential friends or competitors? When she receives the promotion or the blessing that you wanted, can you still see her as a fellow journeyman with her own stories of triumph and heartache? No one walks on Earth long without a few scars. However, this we tend to forget and we start making comparisons of her life to ours.
We were designed for connection, not competition. Each individual’s journey is unique, but made to be lived out in community. There is strength in community.
Life is hard! We need each other.
A person standing alone can be attacked and defeated, but two can stand back-to-back and conquer. Three are even better, for a triple-braided cord is not easily broken. Ecc 4:12, NLT
We may also find that her story is not so different from our own.
See you soon,
Tonya
PS. This is week 4 of Me, Myself, and Lies. Half way there!
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